Is there an adult around?
let a girl know!
You know when there’s a decision to be made - and I mean like, a real decision - and you look around and ask…Where are all the adults?
Where are the people in charge, the ones that know what they’re doing? God forbid I make this decision…on my own?! Are you insane?! I need someone with wisdom, with age, with life experience to tell me what to do, to make the decision for me, or at the very least, tell me that no matter what I choose, everything is going to be okay.
Well friends, I’m in that situation right now. And I need an adult.
Of course, I have realized…I am an adult? I guess? Technically? I mean, my dad does still pay for my phone bill (which is both embarrassing and unnecessary to share) but other than that I’m entirely self-sufficient. Shouldn’t I be able to make this decision on my own? I mean, this is my life we’re talking about here - this decision affects me and only me.
Not only that, but usually I’m the one people often come to for advice - I’m the one that can see the perspective in a tough situation and bring wisdom to darker moments. So, if I am so wise (rolling my eyes), why am I searching for an adult?
After pondering this, here’s what I came up with —
While I am 26 years old, I hold very strong child-like aspects within me. These child-like aspects, when taken care of properly (that’s key) can greatly enhance my life - it’s the reason I get way more excited about things than I should (OMG, can’t wait to sit on my patio and read tonight), it sparks creativity in my brain that I didn’t know existed, it lets me dance around my room when I don’t know where else to put my energy - my child-like self is fun.
But, this part of me is also a child. Children get scared with uncertainty, with decisions - allowing fear to completely consume them at times - needing an adult, someone they deem “knowing” to calm them down in those moments.
And so while I have this wise part of me that can and will make the decision, I also have this child part of me that just wants someone to make it for me.
And I don’t think that’s bad. I don’t think that’s embarrassing or weird - I actually think it’s completely normal. Without boring you with the background of Internal Family Systems and inner child work - the therapy practices where these understandings stems from - let me just say, these different parts of us are important to an aligned, integrated life. But, when making decisions that can alter the course of our lives (yep, that’s how big this decision is), we need to make sure the most wise, grown up, 26-year old part of us is making the decision.
My child-like self that desperately just wants an adult to help, she can’t make the decision - why? Because she’s a child! She’s supposed to have fun and dance and paint.
My wise self - my 26-year old self that has gone through the ringer and knows to her core what to do - she can make the decision. She’s actually already made the decision, long ago. Now, it’s time to act. It’s time to use that child-like wonder to dream big, and use her adult work ethic to get ‘er done.
So… I guess we did find an adult after all.
